I am going to make a proclamation that will probably upset you. I know, because it upset me the first time I heard it. We all have insecurities. Not only do we have insecurities, but, left alone, they negatively impact the way we live our lives and how we allow God to live through us. Some of us have very apparent insecurities that live right on the surface and we need but a second to identify them. Then there are some of us who have spent years masking and pushing down our insecurities to the point that we can hardly name them. Either way, we are bound up and ruled by these insecurities when we don’t face them head on and learn to throw them off.
We’re insecure about where we come from, what are gifts and talents are, what type of wives and mothers we are, the number and type of friends we have, how we appear physically, and even where we are with our faith…to name just a few. We allow these insecurities to bind us up and affect most, if not all, areas of our lives – becoming ineffective and downright worn out. Some of us wish – with everything that we are – that we could just shake these insecurities forever. Some of us are afraid of letting these insecurities go because we don’t really know who we are without them…and that can be scary. But, what’s at the core of these insecurities? When we strip off their packaging, one by one, what are we left with? Fear. Think about it. We’re insecure about the gifts and talents we have because we’re afraid that we might not be as good as someone else or we might fail. We’re insecure about the numbers or types of friendships we have because we’re afraid of being found out or being alone. We’re insecure about the kind of wives we are because we’re afraid our husbands won’t love us or will leave us for someone else. We’re insecure about where our faith is because we’re afraid that God will love us less. Sisters, it’s time that we throw off these insecurities because they are NO GOOD to us! They don’t provide one iota of anything good in our lives. All these insecurities, or fears, do is keep us focused on ourselves and paralyze us from being the women God created and called us to be – women who are clothed with strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25). It’s time we leave these old, useless rags of insecurity behind and put on new, shining garments of the strength and dignity God wants for us.
So, how do we do that? I can tell you one thing that won’t work that we’ve all probably tried before…suppressing the insecurities, fears, and all the life experiences that brought them upon us. Working through insecurities and fears is not easy; it demands a daily, life-long shift in focus – from who we’ve been told we are by the world and ourselves to who God proclaims we are in His Word. It’s not easy, but it’s SO worth the fight to become free…women who are clothed with strength and dignity! A great and powerful first step is found in Beth Moore’s book, So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been a Bad Friend to Us. I pray these words resonate deep in your soul as they did in mine.
“In order to plant our feet on solid ground, we can drop the conditions off of our trust and determine that God will take care of us no matter what. Let me say that again.
No matter what.
I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m stating that if we want to be secure people, this mind-set is a necessity. Sometimes trusting God means no further action. That’s when a verse like Psalm 46:10 speaks loudest: ‘Be still, and know that I am God.’ Other times trusting God means regrouping with Him until the fog clears so we know how to take the next step. Nothing can mislead us or make us jump the gun faster than fear. For times like these when action is necessary but not obvious, Proverbs 3:5-6 hits the nail on the head: ‘Trust the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take’ (NLT). I love the succinct way Psalm 37:3 says something similar: ‘Trust in the Lord and do good’ (NLT).
A couple of years ago God put me through a peculiar exercise that caused a total earthquake in my long-held perception of trust…God saw me in an inner turmoil again about a relentless relational challenge, and while I was wrestling before Him in prayer, my stomach twisted like a wrung-out wet rag. He interrupted.
Child, tell Me your worst fears.
I was a little taken aback. After all, I was in the throes of a particularly descriptive lament. Still, in my human estimation, He had no doubt spoken, so who was I to ask Him to wait His turn? I did what He requested. I told Him my worst fears. Then He ‘said’ something I never could have anticipated, and this, beloved, is precisely what I mean by ‘out of the blue’.
Let’s say those things happened.
Trust me when I tell you, that is not what I wanted to hear from God. I wanted reassurances like, ‘I will never let any of those things happen to you.’ I sensed Him continue the interaction despite my bewilderment and dread.
Beth, picture yourself going through the whole process of one of your worst fears becoming a reality. Get all the way to the other side of it. What do you see there?
So I did. I saw myself getting the news I feared most, bawling my eyes out, grieving a loss, or going through all the emotions of betrayal. The tears stung in my eyes. Butterflies flew up to my stomach. My insides turned out. But something odd happened on the other side. I’ll use a specific example to illustrate the process:
One of the fears I confessed to God was that, in my older years, Keith would stop loving me and fall for somebody else. Somebody younger. After all, a few of his good friends had done exactly that. It wasn’t unreasonable. It’s not like it doesn’t happen. I pictured my worst-case scenario: not only would Keith find someone new, my daughters would also love and embrace her. Now that would be a nightmare.
Okay, Beth, you did a good job thinking up something terrible. What then?
That’s when I figured out what God was after. He and I both knew what I would do. I would be devastated at first. I would probably sin in my anger and say all sorts of things and act all sorts of ways I would live to regret. I would feel inexpressibly lonely and rejected and probably old and ugly. But I knew that finally I’d go facedown before God just as I have a hundred other times, accept His grace and mercy, believe Him to take up my cause and work it together for good, and then I would get up and choose to live.
The excruciating emotional exercise was the best thing God ever could have asked from me. He knew I had pictured the devastation and defeat over and over, but I had never gotten any further that that in my imagination. It was as if He said, ‘As long as you’re going to borrow trouble on the future, why don’t you just go ahead and borrow the grace to go with it and see yourself back up on your feet defying the enemy’s odds…just as you and I have done a dozen other times.’
Even now I could clap my hands over it. The devil took a harsh blow that day because I’ve never fallen back into that old pattern of thinking. And further, the victory over such a long-term mental stronghold caused me to entertain the thought that I could be equally free from my lifelong battle with insecurity. After all, the two are inseparable. These days I far less often pray, ‘Lord, I trust You to…’ I simply try to say over and over again, ‘Lord, I trust You. Period.’
God has promised that His grace will be given according to our need and that not only will we survive by the skin of our teeth, if we trust Him and hang on to Him for dear life – grieving, yes, but as those who have hope – we will also thrive again. We can give ourselves to something greater than painlessness. We can give ourselves to purpose. If we cooperate, good will indeed come to us and others around us, and the glory will most assuredly come to God. Otherwise, He would have forbidden the tragedy. Those of us who are in Christ will also spend eternity with the loved ones who have shared in our faith, and this life will seem like a vapor in comparison.
Both Psalm 112:7-8 and Proverbs 31:25 describe secure people. Not coincidentally, they have one profound characteristic in common. Neither gives the future the right to intimidate them. Their hearts are ‘steadfast, trusting in the Lord.’ Insecurity feeds like a starving wolf off fear of the future – and not just the distant future of aging, infirmity, or death. Insecurity fears what might happen later today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Next week. Next year. Next decade. Its constant mantra is, ‘What will I do if…?’ Fear of the future makes people settle for things in the present that completely defy abundant life. It also insults the grace of God that will be piled in heaps for us when hardship comes. We agonize over how we’ll possibly make it, yet all the while we can glance over our shoulders and see where God has carried us. And often through worse than what we’re afraid of now.
When you feel that familiar panic begin to rise in your heart like a river coursing its banks and your soul begins to roll with another round of ‘What will I do if…?’ what would happen if you were willing to hear the voice of God whisper these inaudible words?
Child, you are asking the wrong question. Here’s the one that would assuage your fears. What will God do if…?
Here’s a smattering of answers to that mighty good question.
I, the Maker of heaven and earth, will:
perfect everything that concerns you (Psalm 138:8, KJV).
work all things together for your good (Romans 8:28).
contend with those who contend with you (Isaiah 49:25).
fight this battle for you (2 Chronicles 20:15).
equip you with divine power (2 Corinthians 10:4).
delight to show you mercy (Micah 7:18).
meet all your needs according to My glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
give you grace that is perfectly sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).
be your power in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
do immeasurably more than all you could ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within you (Ephesians 3:20).”
Thank you so much for sticking with me to the end – I know this was a long post, but it’s imperative that we get this! Thanks, also, for allowing me to share a big chunk of Beth Moore’s newest book with you. Given that she spent nearly a year taking on this topic of dealing with insecurities and fears and I’ve only just begun that journey, I figured it was best to learn from what God has taught her for now.
Please make this prayer your own…
“Lord, I confess to you, and to myself, that I have been carrying insecurities and fears for years. Father, you know the depth of these insecurities and fears even more than I do and I thank you that you love me so much that you want to take them away from me and replace them with strength and dignity. I pray that today would mark the start of this journey to throw off my insecurities and become clothed with a trust in you that’s deeper than it’s ever been. I praise you for giving me just the grace and strength I need to get through everything in this life- no matter how difficult. I pray that my focus would be on your unfailing promises and not on my circumstances. I look forward to this journey with you and thank you, in advance, for always picking me up…no matter how far I may fall. In Jesus’ powerful name, Amen.”
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment! We look forward to getting to know you! Please be sure to sign your name!